"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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