I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I wear drunk well.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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