I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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