So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
