Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
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