He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize