Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
