You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
