my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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