I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
