i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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