I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
