His pubic hair was longer than his dick
if i died would you start the facebook group?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
