I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
