all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Randomize