do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
