So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
so let's talk penis.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
