if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
