Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Someone came in the potted fern
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Randomize
