So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
