And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
