Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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