I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
