So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
