Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
It was confusing and full of hummus
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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