oh god the rape fog is back!
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize