girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
