dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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