u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
