Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
