You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
