Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Betty ford says i'm here all night
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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