Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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