We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
