Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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