so explain again why im purple
no
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
