I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
