I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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