Please, let me fuck your mom
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
