This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize