White coat. Heels.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
