I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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