I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
