I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
