I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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