i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize