im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
