Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
