And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
