Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
where does the pee come out of this thing
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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