i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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