3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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