what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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