Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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