Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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