You're so nebulous sometimes
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Randomize
