My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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