but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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