Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I think I sprained my soul last night
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Randomize
