I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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