just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
